Communion with God
My toughest “C”
When we took our spiritual assessments the last three years as a church, I quickly realized this “C” is not my forte. I still cannot figure out why. I do things that would be seen as communion with God. I regularly play guitar and sing worship songs, I go for long walks, I pray (and sing) in the shower, and I deeply desire this personal relationship with Jesus. I DO all of the things that would be indicative of having communion with God. So what is the problem? Why is this the lowest number in all of the areas for me? Could it be I just do all of these with a bad heart? Maybe I am evaluating myself too harshly and not in a positive light? Maybe I have a wrong definition of what “communion” means? Really, think about it. I have a higher score in the area of “Committed to the Lost” than I do in this area. Sharing my faith with others is really scary; it’s really hard, and it takes some effort, guts and time, and yet, Communion with God is the area in which I struggle?
If you are like me and you scored low in this area, you might be asking the same questions. The truth is, the things I do still don’t produce the feelings and products of communion. If I were to have communion with another individual, I would experience deep conversations. We would
hang out together. There would be a transfer of ideas and dreaming together that would be healthy and productive. There would be laughing, crying, and sharing life together. If I were to be in a relationship as I think of having communion with someone, I would have intimacy with that person. The closest relationship I can think of is the relationship I have with my wife. But the reason I score low in this area is that I don’t have a relationship with Jesus like I have with my spouse.
At this point, you might be thinking, “How unspiritual can one get?” I know, I know, I’m supposed to get this one. A pastor is supposed to be the most intimate with God out of anyone (I’m not sure where in Scripture it actually says that!). And yet, I struggle with this one. The reason this “C” is first, is because I believe all of the other C’s somewhat hinge on this one. But let me try and give some definition and skeleton to this hard area.
Defining communion
People try to define communion with God as “worship to God.” They would say this is really defined by the way we sing on Sunday mornings, the way that we pray on Wednesdays or the way that we “do worship” on our own. For some, it might be taking a hike through the woods or looking at the stars to engage in their own personal worship of their Savior. But I think maybe, just maybe, these things are an incomplete picture of what communion with God really is. They are only a small part of what it means to understand this “C.” Communion with God might be defined as “a passion for God that draws me to Him and motivates me to live for Him.” When we use this definition, we leave the things we do behind and find the things that invoke passion. Passion is another hard-to-understand word. We use passion when we talk about sports players and their passion for the game. We use the word passion when we talk about relationships where love is involved. There is a movie called “Passion of the Christ.” But how might one measure passion? Is it simply something that is found within and if I feel passionate I must be doing well in this area? If this is the answer, then I know why I answer poorly on the assessment in this area. Often, I don’t feel passionate for the things this particular definition offers. I don’t feel as though I am connected deeply with God and don’t have a passionate desire to take big steps towards Him.
From definition to discipline
I think a passion for God that draws me to Him involves discipline. It involves having the fortitude to seek God even in the moments when faith seems to turn to fear, closeness is gone with God, and God seems so far away. It is in these moments of fear where, when I choose faith, I am demonstrating my ability to have Communion with God. Out of these moments, I become motivated for Him and often am motivated by Him to live in light of who He is. When I am regularly disciplined in areas of reading Scripture, prayer, fasting, meditating, and seeking God’s face, there seems to be a communion that develops. The spirit of God seems to take hold of my mind and I am doing the things that would allow a pathway of faith to develop.
A leg under your chair
A chair generally has four legs (Okay, not generally, it does!). If you pull one of those legs out from under it, that chair would fall over. It’s a similar story with high school students who move on to college and fail to have spiritual disciplines in their lives. The chair legs holding them up in their lives have been parents, family, friends, structure, school, church, and youth group. When they go to college, all of that goes away and the chair legs are pulled out from under them. If they have not developed spiritual disciplines in their lives to really weather the storm of change, they will fall and crumble. As a parent, we must understand that our kids become who we are. If we are regularly involved in reading God’s Word, praying, and seeking God, I wonder if many of our students would come away from high school with not just a picture of what it means to be disciplined, but actually practicing these things. What if we spent 18 years developing these disciplines in the lives of our teenagers so that they would be habits? I think the first year of college would be a different statistical story. For many of you, you don’t have 18 years left with your teenager. You might have less than a year. You might have a couple years, and if you are fortunate, you have six or more. No matter how much time you have left with your teenager, now is the time to get to work on the disciplines in your own lives to make habits for the future. When a teenager goes off to college, there is certainly change for the teenager, but did you know over 65% of parents report dealing with some sort of circumstantial depression? What is going to carry you through that? If you have a relationship with God and you are moving towards communion with Him, there would be a “leg under your chair” to hold you up!
The way we are wired…organized/spontaneous
There are two different types of people in the area of discipline. One is the type of person that folds all of their shirts the same way, puts them in the same drawer in the same order and may even wear those shirts on the same day of the week each week. They would see themselves as very disciplined and structured. The opposite group would see them as obsessive compulsive! The other group has no idea where any of their shirts are and once they find one, they need to go wash it (assuming they can find the soap) so they can wear it. We have different levels of natural organization. For those of you who are organized to the point of OCD, you have read the above section and nodded your head. “Yes, we need discipline.” Those of you with less organizational skills said, “I would love to be disciplined in these areas, but I don’t think I could do these things daily or in a time structure.” The good news is all of us are wired the way we are for a reason. Understanding how you are wired will help you in this area of spiritual discipline. For those organizational zealots, simply adding this to your daily routine is something you need to do. Reading God’s Word, praying, and disciplining yourself to seek God’s face is an addition to an already full day. But it’s more than an addition. It’s saying “no” to something else for many of you. You are so organized you have actually organized God right out of the picture. It’s time to let Him have a place in your structure again. For those that are gifted with spontaneity, prioritize the disciplines with God and do them spontaneously. When you have a free moment, seek God’s face. Remind yourself by wearing a bracelet to read God’s Word or memorize Scripture. I know a man blessed with spontaneity that will do this discipline thing while he is using the restroom. He sees this as his reminder to have some quiet time. Whether you are organized or spontaneous, discipline is necessary in this area of communion with God.
Confessions of a youth pastor on parenting and disciplines
Sometimes I think I can instill disciplines in our students with a series (currently we are doing a series on transformation which is focused on disciplines.) I think something I say, some accountability within small groups, or modeling prayer will somehow teach students the principles talked about above in the “Communion with God” section. But the truth is the students who are really good at disciplines coming out of high school are the ones with parents who are also engaged in these disciplines in different ways. Those are the students who are a product of consistent marinated discipleship of their parents. I would love to say our student ministry has produced amazing disciples of Jesus. The truth is, the amazing disciples of Jesus who have come from here come from families where audacious faith is lived and God-seeking disciplines have been cultivated.
I need to grow in this area of communion with God, and I invite each of you to grow with me. As we seek God together, as we understand priorities and disciplines and begin to implement those in our lives, I believe we will see God radically transform our hearts and minds to be parents that honor God first with a byproduct of modeling for teenagers what it means to be in communion with God.
